Positive relationships (young people)

Build and maintain trust:

Young people need to feel safe and secure during their transitions to young adults. It can be an exciting but unsettling time for some. Hormones and life in general can cause young people to feel insecure and self conscious, positive relationships are a vital key to supporting each other, whether it be family, friends, youth workers or teachers, trust is the most important aspect of any relationship. It’s ok that relationships aren’t always easy, and remember every relationship is different.

Top Tip: Try new things, tell each other something you don’t know about each other, it doesn’t need to be anything confidential, just share some stories or experience a new place together.

A hug or a smile can go a long way:

A key way to build a positive relationship is through a simple smile or physical affection. Young people can shy away from hugs, particularly in group settings from each other and from adults. A simple smile or hug can instantly relieve fear or apprehension, so just because they didn’t accept it once, doesn’t mean it won’t work again.

Top Tip: How often do you smile at those you don’t know? Try it and see how many people smile back, you might just make someone’s day.

Reactions can have a heavy impact…

Did you laugh when your friend told you she liked someone? Did you shout when your son said he failed a test at school? We all have instant reactions, it’s human nature. Try to think about how your reaction might impact that individual and try to listen before you react. How much courage did it take to tell you, were they anxious?

Top Tip: It’s ok to leave the room, take a minute and think about how best to respond and if you’re going to laugh, try to laugh together!

Pay attention:

Practice active listening. People respond to those who truly listen to what they have to say. Focus on listening, maintain eye contact, summarise what they’ve said and you’ll quickly develop that trusting relationship.

Top Tip: If someone needs you to listen, remove all distractions. Pop your phone away and give them your full attention.

Be forgiving:

Everyone makes mistakes. Few relationships develop and grow without any bumps in the road, try to find a way to overcome the problem together and move on. It will often deepen the bond between you.

Top Tip: Think about all of the positive aspects of your relationship, the good memories. Now think again about the ‘mistake’, is it something you can work together to overcome?

You don’t need to be ‘perfect’:

Sometimes we focus too much on being the ‘perfect’ parent, the ‘perfect’ teenager, the ‘perfect’ son/daughter – don’t worry, we all know ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist! Positive relationships are built on positive interactions.

Top Tip: Think about all the good things you bring to a relationship, and focus on the positives, everyone is different, value differences.

Manage technology

Most people have access to technology e.g. mobile phone, laptop etc. Whilst they can be an effective tool for communication, they also can be a distraction when people are trying to talk to you.

Top Tip: Have time away from your technology when in company, put your phone on vibrate/silent so it is less of a distraction, so you can spend quality time with your friends/family.

Building positive relationships is important for our own sense of wellbeing. A secure attachment encourages trust, communication, sharing of feelings and emotions.